


it wasn’t your fault

by ihaveamouthsoimustscream



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lesbian Character, Suicide Attempt, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28158174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihaveamouthsoimustscream/pseuds/ihaveamouthsoimustscream
Summary: June 6th 2016, Freshman Year“What’s your biggest secret Nora?”“The reason I don’t kill myself is the crippling fear that it won’t work.”
Relationships: Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s)





	it wasn’t your fault

June 6th 2016, Freshman Year 

“What’s your biggest secret Nora?” 

“The reason I don’t kill myself is the crippling fear that it won’t work.” 

Jenny’s legs stilled and she didn't reply, instead going back to looking at the river running below the old wooden bridge that was part of her driveway we were sat on. The sound of Trees by McCaffery playing over Jenny’s shitty old speaker she stole from her brother filled the silence. “Oh. I thought it would be that you love me.” She says as she resumed swinging her legs.  
“I do love you. That’s not a secret. You asked for a secret.” I rolled my eyes. She knew I loved her. I made sure to tell her everyday. She got sad when I didn’t and seeing her frown felt like a punch to the gut. I'd do just about anything to make her smile.  
We sat for a while longer before I got up and offered her my hand. “It's getting late. Let's go back to the house and get something to eat.”  
She took my hand and I pulled her up, giving her a kiss before we walked back to the house, our intertwined hands swinging between us.

May 8th 2017, Sophomore Year

I stop walking. "You want to go where for college?”

She also stops. "Duke. Did you not hear me say it like two seconds ago?” 

“No I heard you baby. I was just making sure.” I replied. She smiled, “It's my dream college. I know it's hard to get into but it's my dream.”.  
I nodded and looked around. We were back on the bridge. We had been walking to the main road when she had told me.  
The river was high, swollen by the recent heavy rain. Water was rushing on rapidly below; and all other sounds were lost in the noise of it's splashing and eddying.  
“Let's get back. If you want to get into Duke you need to study hard.”  
I ended up carrying her back to the house piggyback style and got a kiss as payment for being her ‘loyal steed’. I would carry her everywhere just to see her smile.

April 8th 2018, Junior year

“Your dad really needs to get someone out to fix this bridge.”

“I think it's fine. It'll hold for a few more years”  
“Whatever you say sweetheart. Just be careful” I eyed the edge of the bridge as it creaked under the weight of Jenny’s car.  
She had just gotten her license and her parents had bought her a car. It was a shitty red Volkswagen Jetta that she had lovingly named Bad Bitch.  
She still had her dream of going to Duke and now she had a way to get there. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. She was dedicated to her dream and I was dedicated to her so I helped with whatever she needed. She worked hard. All her classes were Honors and she volunteered whenever she could.  
I didn't mind having to cuddle her while she studied or go volunteer for date night. I loved her so much I would do anything to see her smile. 

March 10th 2019, Senior Year 

“Hey baby call me back when you get the chance.”

“Jenny, you're really scaring me. Please call me back”

The phone rang once and I immediately answered. “Jenny baby are you okay? You weren't answering my calls and I got worried.”  
“I’m okay Nora. I just wanted to call and tell you I got into Duke and that I love you more than life itself. Find something you want and live for it.” She sounded strained and in pain.  
“Jenny are you sure you’re okay? Where are you?” I practically begged her.  
“I’m at the bridge in my driveway. I’m okay. I love you” She hung up. That’s the last time I heard her voice.  
Two hours later I got a call. It wasn't Jenny. It was her parents. They asked me to come to the old bridge. I was surprised I didn't get a ticket with how fast I was going.  
She had gotten accepted into Duke. She was so excited to drive to my house to tell me she forgot to be careful on the bridge and it collapsed under the sudden weight of the car. She died on impact.  
After the funeral, I found myself in my room lying on my bed. I had grabbed some of her clothes that still smelled like her and cuddled them falling asleep. The pills I took made sure I didn't wake back up.  
Freshman me had nothing to fear. It worked.


End file.
